It’s a Ménage-iversary!

SPOILER ALERT! If you haven’t read Wholly Trinity yet and want to keep your experience spoiler-free, then stop now and go read some funny comics at The Oatmeal instead.

WT_cover_2Okay, if you’re still reading, then please join me in celebrating Beth, Paul and John’s wedding anniversary! Take a stroll down memory lane with this snippet…

John had been barking commands for nearly fifteen minutes when Beth heard another familiar voice at the front door call out, “Anybody home?”

Monica shot her a surprised look through the mirror. Beth’s own heart tensed to hear Paul’s playful tone—over an hour earlier than expected— and braced for the fallout.

“What are you doing here!?” John yelled from kitchen, practically on cue.

“Heard there’s a wedding goin’ on.” Beth visualized Paul’s deadpan shrug. “Thought I’d check it out.”

“Dammit, Paul, today? Of all days?” John bit, his frustration audible.

Especially today of all days, John,” Paul countered. “Christ, it’s not like you don’t know how I operate by this point.”

John huffed a low growl, unappeased.

“If you really loved me, you’d let me have my pathetic little coping mechanisms,” Paul parried, still standing in the foyer, if she judged the sound correctly. The hint of nervous sincerity made her wonder if he was being sarcastic. Was he having second thoughts? Cold feet?

“As long as you realize they’re pathetic,” John grumbled, and Beth heard forgiveness in his tone. “Go upstairs, then, and stay there. I’ll be in the backyard.”

Paul made the expected begrudging noises of cooperation, dutifully tromping up the stairwell and slamming a door, muttering mild threats and invective the whole way. In an equally immature and undignified manner, John huffed and bustled his way out the door once the path was clear.

Less than three minutes later, Beth wasn’t terribly surprised when Paul slipped into the closet. Their eyes met in the mirror, and Beth’s heart warmed to see him, smiling and in a good mood. At least you’re hereand not panicked, off in the middle of some desert.

Monica placed the final pin in Beth’s hair. “You’re as bad as my three-year-old,” she tsked.

Paul offered a wry smile. “Flattery like that is what makes all the hard work worthwhile.”

Beth smiled despite her better judgment, knowing it would only encourage worse. “He’s gonna wring your neck, then mine, if he catches you in here.”

Paul planted a kiss on her cheek. “You and I both know mine alone will suffice.”

“Can’t you just humor him today?” Beth pleaded. Though I could say the same to John, she admitted.

“All this wedding day superstition is utter bullshit. Plus, flouting Groomzilla’s stupid wedding rules is kinda my new thing…”

Wholly Trinity is available in ebook and paperback formats on Amazon.

John’s Brilliant Idea, Part 3 stumbled across an online compatibility quiz and couldn’t resist taking it. Of course he convinced Beth and Paul to take it, too. Paul has been strong-armed to reluctantly share some of his responses with you…

How would you rank all the priorities in your life: work, school, family, spouse, friends, hobbies, and church? Does your ranking reflect the amount of time you spend on each?

Spouse, work. The rest doesn’t matter shit.

Do you think being in love means: (1) Never having to say you’re sorry, (2) Always having to say you’re sorry, (3) Knowing when to say you’re sorry, or (4) Being the first to say I’m sorry?

1— If we’re in love, you oughta know by now I’m bound to fuck shit up when I don’t mean to. Just assume I regret pissing you off, okay?

Do you want children? When? How many? Would you feel unfulfilled if you were unable to have children?

Hell no. Never. None. Are you kidding? 

Do you anticipate raising our children (1) The same way you were raised, (2) Completely differently from the way you were raised, or (3) A mixture of both?

If an accident happened… then 2. For very obvious reasons. I mean, look how I turned out.

Whenever we have difficult feelings about each other, should we (1) Remain silent, (2) Say something as soon as the difficult feelings arise, (3) Wait a certain amount of time before raising the issue, or (4) Do something else? If so, what?

1 works for me. Most “difficult” feelings are about imaginary bullshit anyway. Grow up and get over it.

Is there anything about marriage that frightens you?

I don’t need a damn certificate from the government to validate my commitment. Plus, wearing a tuxedo sucks ass, and not in the good way.


John’s answers were posted Monday here, and Beth’s responses can be found here. Don’t forget to enter my Rafflecopter giveaway for a chance to win some fun Wholly Trinity swag!

Questions borrowed and/or adapted from Emmalee Schallenberger and 276 Questions To Ask Before You Marry.