John stumbled across an online compatibility quiz and couldn’t resist taking it. Of course he convinced Beth and Paul to take it, too. Paul has been strong-armed to reluctantly share some of his responses with you…
How would you rank all the priorities in your life: work, school, family, spouse, friends, hobbies, and church? Does your ranking reflect the amount of time you spend on each?
Spouse, work. The rest doesn’t matter shit.
Do you think being in love means: (1) Never having to say you’re sorry, (2) Always having to say you’re sorry, (3) Knowing when to say you’re sorry, or (4) Being the first to say I’m sorry?
1— If we’re in love, you oughta know by now I’m bound to fuck shit up when I don’t mean to. Just assume I regret pissing you off, okay?
Do you want children? When? How many? Would you feel unfulfilled if you were unable to have children?
Hell no. Never. None. Are you kidding?
Do you anticipate raising our children (1) The same way you were raised, (2) Completely differently from the way you were raised, or (3) A mixture of both?
If an accident happened… then 2. For very obvious reasons. I mean, look how I turned out.
Whenever we have difficult feelings about each other, should we (1) Remain silent, (2) Say something as soon as the difficult feelings arise, (3) Wait a certain amount of time before raising the issue, or (4) Do something else? If so, what?
1 works for me. Most “difficult” feelings are about imaginary bullshit anyway. Grow up and get over it.
Is there anything about marriage that frightens you?
I don’t need a damn certificate from the government to validate my commitment. Plus, wearing a tuxedo sucks ass, and not in the good way.